Food

Someone’s putting on ‘A Very Cockney Christmas’ dinner and we’re not sure about it :-: Metro

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Someone's putting on 'A Very Cockney Christmas' dinner and we're not sure about it
(Picture: Design My Night)

We get that in this day and age, you’re nobody without throwing a themed event.

Event organisers have to spend hours coming up with dumb ideas for parties and dinners if they want to remain *fresh*, *cool*, *relevant*.

And in the desperation to do something different, they can run into dodgy territory.

Take this The Cockney’tivity supper club, for example.

It’s a ‘Christmas dining experience like no other’ which is happening at The North Star on Homerton High Street.

The menu

Christmas dinner – Free Range Roast Chicken with stuffing and all the trimmings.

Herb buttered roasted Supreme of Chicken, Roast Spuds, Glazed Carrots, Maple Roast Parsnips, Gloucester Old Spot Pigs in Blankets, Gloucester Pork and Apple Stuffing, Buttered Greens w/ Nanny Bill’s Gravy.

Veggie Option – Nanny Bill’s Nut Roast with Cauliflower Cheese pots, Veggie Stuffing and all the trimmings.

Nut roast, Cauli Cheese, Roast Spuds, Glazed Carrots, Maple Roast parsnips, Minted Peas and Greens w/ Red wine gravy. (V) Without Cauli Cheese (VG)

Starters – Roasted Vegetable Soup w/herb oil and garlic crouton Or Smoked Salmon, Pickled Radish Salad with Horseradish Cream

Afters – Handmade Mince Pie w/Brandy Cream Christmas Pudding w/ Lemon Sorbet

As you can see from the menu, it’s all standard Christmas fodder, albeit hipster-ified. And for £55, you’d hope that it’d be really good stuff.

Fine.

But one wonders why they needed to give it a cockney theme.

Someone's putting on 'A Very Cockney Christmas' dinner and we're not sure about it
Classic east end night out (Picture: Design My Night)

As someone born and raised in the East End, I’m unaware that our Christmas dinners are any different to anyone else’s. And actually, they aren’t as posh as this one.

The idea, according to the description on Design My Night, is that it’s based in ‘an authentic east end boozer’ – which as anyone who’s been to Homerton in the last five years knows, doesn’t exist there.

Someone's putting on 'A Very Cockney Christmas' dinner and we're not sure about it
Who doesn’t go to a Homerton pub with a toy sheep? (Picture: Design My Night)

Homerton high street is to hipster yuppies what the King’s Road is to Sloanes. The close-by Budgens has the largest array of handmade vegan products that I’ve ever come across in a supermarket.

Anyway, whatever. They have to market this somehow and most people buying tickets probably don’t even know where Homerton is.

But the really bizarre thing is the choice of images they’ve put alongside the event – showing a dinking pregnant teenager, a chav, a wheeler-dealer about to sell watched from under his coat and a Pat Butcher-look-alike.

Someone's putting on 'A Very Cockney Christmas' dinner and we're not sure about it
Basically my parents (Picture: Design My Night)

This event hasn’t been billed as an Eastenders’ spin-off, it’s just an ~authentic east end experience~.

Because teenage pregnancies and the selling of stolen goods in pubs is exactly what the east end is like these days.

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Maybe once upon a time, the pubs of Homerton were packed with gangers and chavs and what not but that’s so far from reality these days.

So really, this is just another crass attempt to sell something that would be pretty basic if it wasn’t for a bad theme.

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