Empowering — or encouraging violence? The divisive debate about women wrestling men
Men fight men and women fight women, right? These wrestlers are breaking boundaries — and they reject the idea that intergender matches encourage domestic violence.
Emma Douglas started wrestling when she was 18 to escape her violent stepfather.
"He was physically violent, he was emotionally aggressive, he was controlling," she says.
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Wresting gave her a "sense of security and protection".
"I felt I could easily take that dick down if I needed to," she says.
"You felt better because you were feeling a different pain than he was trying to give you — it was a satisfying pain because I did this to myself."
Emma performs regularly at wrestling shows in Melbourne, under her ring name Erika Reid — and she has no problem with fighting men.
A controversial pairing
Wrestling opponents are usually paired by gender: women wrestle women, and men wrestle men.
Some shows also pit men against women — but these intergender battles make some audiences uncomfortable.
Melbourne City Wrestling promoter Michael Jozis has received angry feedback from fans about the intergender matches his company has staged in the past.
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"Our audience responded quite negatively. 'How can a male competitor put his hands on a woman in that sort of manner?' and 'You can't show men beating up women, that sends the wrong message to kids in the audience'," Michael says.
While he isn't opposed to intergender wrestling, Michael now steers clear of male-female matches, to "avoid the controversy".
But Emma rejects the suggestion that intergender wrestling resembles an act of violence against women.
"Domestic violence isn't just physical, it's emotional, it's mental, it's everything," she says.
"This is a show, this is a performance, this is a match.
"Domestic violence and intergender wrestling should never be put in the same sentence, ever."
She points out that wrestlers engage with each other consensually, in a controlled environment guided by strict rules and regulations.
"Domestic violence isn't consented, whereas wrestling is consented, that's it," she says.
Widening the pool
Intergender wrestling advocate Kelly Salter, whose ring name is Kellyanne, says matches between women and men can be entertaining when professionalism is paramount.
"It's about how it's done, and as long as you respect each other, there's no reason why you can't go out there and tell a great story," she says.
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Kelly is one of the top female wrestlers in Australia.
This year she's migrating to England to continue her career in a larger, more profitable scene.
In the small local industry, female wrestlers are a minority, so the prevalence of gendered matches means Kelly's pool of opponents is limited.
"There's not many women for me to wrestle in Australia, which is another reason why I want to wrestle a man," she says.
"I was very tempted to go under a mask and pretend I was a man, just so I could wrestle someone different."
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Like all female wrestlers, Kelly regularly trains with men, and says most of her male colleagues are keen to challenge her to a match when given the opportunity.
But she has encountered a few whose pride makes them reluctant.
"They don't want to get beaten by a woman!" Kelly says.
Other men are happy to wrestle a female opponent, but struggle with the inherent violence of some wrestling moves.
Wrestler and trainer Carlo Cannon says there are certain moves he won't do against women.
"There's things I just don't want to see," he says.
"I don't want to see women bleed, I don't want to see them get punched in the face, I don't want to see them get stomped.
"I think that sends the wrong message."
He says there are a lot of children in most wrestling audiences.
"We've got to think about what we're showing these kids," he says.
"Wrestling already can be perceived as too violent as it is, so when I wrestle I try to tell a story of good overcoming evil."
'We're all just competitors'
Sydney wrestling company Pro Wrestling Australia (PWA) is working to normalise the idea of men and women wrestling.
Co-owner Madison Eagles, who prefers not to use her real name, says the company no longer uses the term intergender wrestling, because male-female matches are so common at their events.
"We've taken it to the point with PWA that it's not even considered anything special anymore, because we're all just competing as competitors," she says.
Madison, who is more than six feet tall, says intergender matches need to be plausible within the fictional worlds they create, so opponents are paired up accordingly.
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"There's no difference between me and a guy my size competing, just like there's no difference between one of the smaller girls and one of the smaller guys competing with each other," she says.
Madison has also survived real-life violence, at the hands of a former partner.
Family and domestic violence support services:
She doesn't see a correlation between this experience and wrestling a male opponent.
"Being a victim of domestic violence, I don't have a problem with [intergender wrestling]," she says.
"I'm good because it's wrestling, we're putting on a show, it's a soap opera with violence."
She emphasises the broad gap between reality and theatre.
"There's a difference between wrestling in the ring and someone taking advantage of you, someone really out there to hurt you," she says.
A powerful sense of self
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Emma credits wrestling with saving her from falling in with "the wrong crowd," and allowing her to channel her anger.
"I love it. I've never felt safer since I started wrestling, it changed everything," she says.
She says it also enables her to celebrate her Aboriginal heritage — she imbues her alter ego Erika Reid with traditional dreamtime abilities such as magic and voodoo.
"I'd like to be a good role model for Indigenous people, for young girls to look up to," she says.
And regardless of whether she's facing a male or female opponent, Emma says wrestling fills her self-confidence.
"You feel empowered, you feel strong, you feel like you can do anything," she says.
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