Two moments in a young life that changed everything
Related Story: What are the Invictus Games?
It's a father's promise to his son. A son still too young to fully understand his pledge.
"What I strive for is to hopefully be around until the 2028 Paralympics," said Jake Howe, who was left a quadriplegic after a freak accident.
His quest begins when he represents Australia at the Wheelchair Rugby World Championships next month.
Pending form and selection, he hopes to stay in the green and gold — competing at the highest level — for at least a decade.
"I want to try and compete at three Paralympic Games so then I'll be more of a cool father while Lucas (his five-year-old boy) is going through high-school, rather than the guy who sits at home and does nothing."
Doing nothing is not Howe's style. Even after the accident. Especially after the accident.
Lucas, with whom Howe's ex-partner was pregnant at the time, was and is central to that.
"A lot of the staff in rehab said my time was pretty quick because I was pretty driven," Howe tells the ABC.
"That was my drive — to get out before Lucas was born."
The very real prospect of not being able to hold his newborn son unaided when the time came occupied his mind.
"That was definitely a hard thought," he said.
Howe was discharged a month before the birth. He had his precious moment.
"It was an amazing feeling … awesome, hard and overwhelming at the same time," recalled Howe.
The night everything changed
Six years ago Howe was out celebrating a mate's birthday when he and a friend engaged in a bit of seemingly harmless push and shove.
"I was out … for my mate's 21st, it was one of the best nights I've had," he said.
"I went to tackle one of my friends down. He ended up just picking me up — like I'd been picked up several times — and he dropped me, but my hands were pinned.
"I landed directly on my head. I couldn't move and I knew something was up, straight away."
The accident broke a bone in his neck, crushed his spinal cord, and left him a quadriplegic.
His next five months were spent in hospital and rehabilitation. A blunt reality, but one he soon accepted and embraced.
"If you don't keep your mind active and busy, and you don't laugh about something, you're usually crying about it," he said.
"There's no point crying about it your whole life so you might as well laugh about it."
Howe is a proud father, a passionate West Australian who loves his sport, and he's still the same uncomplicated lad.
A young man who enjoys time with his mates, a beer, heavy metal music and life.
"Nothing's really changed, I'm the same person", said Howe
'Learning to use your uselessness'
For all that, the demands of fatherhood, a change in environment and the need to overcome new obstacles has caused, understandably, many moments of doubt.
"I was basically a baby in the house — getting things done for me — I couldn't do the things I wanted to do for my son," said Howe.
"I felt less of a man, not being able to care for him like I should."
With no movement in his fingers or thumbs, Howe adapted. "Learning to use your uselessness," in his own words.
At 21, he was back living at home with his parents and a newborn; a home where everyone was trying to adjust.
"For a mum to see a son go through something like this is pretty hard," said Carol Howe.
"But with his positive attitude he's been our rock; it's made it easier for us to cope with what's gone on."
His ability to deal with his new reality is best summed up when he talks of how the incident impacted on his mates, especially the one directly involved in the accident.
"To be honest, I'd prefer to be in my shoes than his shoes," Howe said.
"I'm over it, accepted it and living my life."
Independence through sport
That living of life is most clearly understood through the prism of the strong and unique bond shared between father and son.
"He gets around in my other spare wheelchair and we chase each other around the house in wheelchairs," explains Howe.
"He doesn't know anything different … we do things together that an 'able-bod' and their child wouldn't do."
As well as family, sport — specifically wheelchair rugby — has been "hugely important" for the now 27-year-old.
"I wouldn't be as independent as I am now if I didn't discover it," admitted Howe.
"Just from learning from the other players, they don't judge.
"You can talk so much more openly to your friends who are disabled."
"Some people find it a bit harder to talk to you for some reason. I'm not entirely sure why."
For family and country
When at home in Perth, Howe often trains by himself. Sometimes a mate heads down to help out; some of those same mates who were there the night of the accident.
His circumstances might have changed, but his desire to do what he's always done has not.
He still enjoys his rock concerts — the most recent being the US heavy metal band Machine Head.
"Front row, got the bloody nice treatment. Up there with the security guards, right at the barricade with the pit going off behind me," he says.
"I was loving it."
He went to that gig with another one of his mates — Steve, his dad.
"His favourite thing is to use me as a battering ram when we're leaving concerts.
"He pushes me into people's ankles and they turn around and apologise to me!"
No one will be apologising for crashing in to his chair come game day. Wheelchair rugby is not for the faint-hearted. It is as — or even more — competitive than any other top-level sport.
It's what draws Howe and others to the contest.
Victory would be a significant achievement by the two-time defending Paralympic champions.
After the work and effort to get here, Howe intends to enjoy it.
Asked what his greatest achievement to date is, beyond his personal life, he is succinct in his assessment.
"I think I'm about to do it."
[contf]
[contfnew]
ABC .net
[contfnewc]
[contfnewc]
