Rand Paul Pokes Fun At Warren, Trump, Bolton, Graham, And Even Ted Cruzs Beard In Annual Festivus Airing Of Grievances
Scott Morefield | Reporter
In what has become a yearly ritual, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul celebrated the “Seinfeld”-inspired holiday of “Festivus” on Sunday by airing his list of “grievances” on Twitter.
“At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!” said “Seinfeld” character Frank Costanza, who created the holiday on “The Strike,” the now infamous 166th episode of the legendary show.
On Saturday, Paul promised that the “government shutdown” wouldnt be “shutting down” his annual airing of grievances.
“Ive got even more problems with you people than usual, and youre gonna hear about it!” he wrote.
In case you were wondering, the government shutdown isnt shutting down my #AiringofGrievances tomorrow for #Festivus. Ive got even more problems with you people than usual, and youre gonna hear about it! pic.twitter.com/rIWZsHzxYO
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 22, 2018
On Sunday, Paul let loose on a wide range of targets and “disappointments,” including Senator Elizabeth Warren, national security adviser John Bolton, Senator Lindsey Graham, President Trump, and Senator Ted Cruzs brand-new beard, among others.
GOOD MORNING! Welcome to everyones favorite holiday, #Festivus! pic.twitter.com/bZEUyPID1b
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Paul started with foreign policy, a signature issue for the non-interventionist senator. (RELATED: Rand Paul Goes To The Mat For Trump On Syria Withdrawal — Time For Syrians To Fight For Themselves)
Now they are mad because he is STOPPING two wars. How about you just admit you hate the President, love war and have been wrong for the last 20 years on every part of foreign policy?
Consider that my Christmas present. You dont have to get me anything else.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
He followed with a “worst in waste” report (click the tweet to see the follow-ups).
One of the things I hate most about Washington is that they have literally NO IDEA how to spend your money. Thats why I do waste reports, and do a FESTIVUS WASTE REPORT with some of the worst offenders of the year. Here are some of the worst in waste.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Speaking of which, buried in the foreign aid reports last year, I discovered something — we give foreign aid to China. So government is so dumb, it is literally borrowing money from China, to give it back to China, while paying interest on it.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Then he was on to Senator Warren and other issues:
I came to say Happy #Festivus to my friend Elizabeth Warren. Cant find her. pic.twitter.com/A4xSJ7Nf7x
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Lets start with POTUS I like the President, I honestly do. I know people dont believe me. But the man seems to have a problem keeping staff around him. But they solved the problem. I went to the White House the other day and there were at least 14 ppl in Mick Mulvaney masks. pic.twitter.com/u0nnGWQ7V0
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Mick is a good friend of mine, in fact a lot of people probably dont remember he was the national co-chair for my Presidential campaign. Uh oh, probably just got him fired. pic.twitter.com/3jH3ZsZh8r
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Speaking of criminal justice reform, I have to give Jared Kushner credit. He was great on this. And Im glad I got to know him, because before that I was a bit suspicious he was the kid from the Omen movie all grown up.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
And folks, that is NOT who you want in charge of your Middle East peace plans.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
I did something to help the President out though. I found him a wall I think will work on the border. pic.twitter.com/gx7ejwn1RU
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
It will be quite lovely really. And It was on sale for $99, so we can open the government back up now.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
So moving down the road to Congress. Oh, Congress. Every year it seems things get more absurd. They were so bad this week they made my friend Mike Lee say “doggone”. It was nuts.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Then it was on to Ted Cruzs beard:
Ted really should have grown that beard before he ran for President. He looks less Canadian now.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Paul used their foreign policy difference and a Star Wars reference to roast fellow GOP Senator Lindsey Graham.
I have to tell you; I havent seen a Senator who loves war this much since the Star Wars Prequels. pic.twitter.com/UFU242XYQK
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Lindsay and I were on the same side on foreign policy for about 5 minutes a few weeks ago, regarding the Saudis. He said it was a sign of “end times”. I guess we are all gonna live a bit longer after all.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Many of these people hold these two views: 1 – that it was horrible to leave the war in Syria and 2 – that it is horrible that General Mattis left, since he was what kept the President from starting WWIII or something. I dont understand how you hold both of those views.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Well, actually…lets talk about John Bolton. I dont have a grievance. I just really would have liked to have been in the room when the POTUS told him to END a war. How many times do you think he made the President repeat it because he didnt even know what the words meant?
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
I opposed John Bolton being hired. But I really cant think of anything that makes me happier then thinking of him having to end wars for the rest of his time in the White House.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
Finally, Paul closed with a “Festivus miracle.”
But then we exchanged some thoughts about bipartisan reforms we could work on, like hemp legalization and criminal justice reforms. Well, its a Festivus miracle because Congress passed and the President signed BOTH of those things this week.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
So everyone enjoy your feats of strength today. Air your grievances here or in your home. But remember, thanks to Donald Trump we are ALL saying Merry Christmas this year — so repeat after me: MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone even the haters and losers.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018
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