Millennials do love to ruthlessly murder things.
Todays death at the hands of millennials: canned tuna.
Yes, millennials. We have brine on our hands.
The Wall Street Journal reports that consumption of canned tuna has dropped 42% in the last three decades, stating that classic tins of fish are fighting to stay relevant to us trend-obsessed millennials. Just 32% of people aged 18 to 34 recently bought canned fish, compared with 45% of those over the age of 55.
Apparently us younger types prefer the idea of fresh, less-processed options. But were also accused of laziness (as always), as younger people cant be bothered to faff around opening cans.
One vice president of marketing and innovation accused millennials of failing to own can openers.
I would be offended by such an accusation, but I left my tin opener at a friends house and yesterday my boyfriend had to stab a can of chickpeas. Classic millennial fun.
Another factor in tunas declining popularity among the young uns: The smell.
You cant deny it: Tuna has a strong, fishy smell. In a culture where we often need to have our lunch at our desks, tucking into a tuna sandwich doesnt seem like the wisest – or kindest – option.
Its also not remotely Instagram-worthy. You try taking a decent picture of a tuna salad.
So, millennials are killing the canned tuna industry without a care in the world (apart from caring about fish. Perhaps the rise of veganism and vegetarianism, plus an increased awareness of ocean pollution, could be playing a part in our reluctance to down tins of tuna?).
Dont worry, though, as brands have a plan.
That plan is pouches.
Yep, pouches. Like the ones you find packaging cat food.
Major manufacturer StarKist places its hopes in pouches of tuna with trendy flavours, such as Spicy Korean Style and Hot Buffalo. We cant wait to see a tuna pouch designed to be mashed up with avocado and smothered on toast. Its inevitable.
Other brands hope to market tuna as an easy snack (millennials love snacks) by selling it with crackers or placing it in the aisles of cereal bars and crisps.
But will that be enough to keep another industry from millennials bloodthirsty hands?